Surviving Hyperemesis Gravidarum

May 15th (today) is HG awareness day.

I know they have awareness days for everything. But this one is especially important to me and to my family. I am especially writing this in honor of those mothers and precious babies who did not survive HG. And I pray that one day we will find a cause and a cure. 

A dear friend recently suggested writing a "survival guide" to HG. I love the idea, and as I though about it, read about it and talked with other survivors about it, I came up with a few key survival tips I want to share. 

1 in 7 mothers with HG end their pregnancy in abortion. 80% of women experience morning sickness, but only 2% of those women experience HG. It is so severe that it becomes life threatening for the mother and child, and is completely unbearable. It is draining, both physically and emotionally. 

The most common symptoms of HG are: 

• Constant violent vomiting

• Not being able to hold down any foods or liquids

• Severe dehydration requiring IV fluids and medication 

• hospitalization due to dehydration 

• Weightloss of 5% or more of your body weight 

• Malnutrition 

Tip #1. 

Find a good doctor. If your doctor is not listening to you, or not providing proper care, you NEED to find one that will. This is key because proper care can make all the difference in your experience and in the overall health of you and your baby. HelpHER.org has a list of good HG doctors in cities all over the country. 

I'm positive that if I didn't have such a great doctor who not only listened but understood what was happening and knew how to treat it, we would have lost Benjamin before I was even 10 weeks along. 

Tip #2. 

Build a good support system. I cannot imagine going through HG alone. Having friends and family who support you, help you, and listen to you on those hard days are SO important for your mental health. Being so sick can be frustrating and depressing. It's important to reach out to those who support you most and keep them close. 

I know we are often met with friends and family who think it can be cured with crackers and ginger. Some even go as far as accusing us of making it all up. My best advice for this is to not subject yourself to that. Send them the link to HelpHER.org, have a talk with them, do whatever you need to, but don't listen to them for one minute. Being that sick is hard enough. It's worse when those close to you bring negative thoughts and feelings. 

There are actually several HG support groups on Facebook that I found extremely helpful. It's nice to talk to someone who truly gets it. It's hard to understand HG until you have had it yourself. And it's nice to compare PICC line scars and discuss Zofran pumps and vomit stories. They just get it. And for some women, that is all the support they have. 

Tip #3. 

Listen to your body. If you even think that you might need to go in for an IV, GO! I once was so dehydrated I didn't pee for 24 hours. I was way past the point I needed IV fluids. I promise that even if you are only a little dehydrated, getting fluids in you will help you feel so much better. 

Don't be afraid to take medication, especially if it is going to save your life and your baby's life.

 Rest. Don't over do it or you could trigger more vomiting. 

Tip #4. 

If you have had an HG pregnancy in the past, and are planning to have another baby, I highly recommend planning ahead before you get pregnant. Make freezer meals, invest in plastic bowls, plates and utensils, arrange emergency childcare for any older children, arrange for some help with the housework, and come up with a treatment plan with your doctor. 

Tip #5. 

ASK FOR AND ACCEPT HELP! Don't wait until you are already frustrated and angry to ask for help. Don't turn down help when you know you need it. HG is a long and hard road. You are going to need help at some point, and that is ok. No one wants you to do the dishes when you are puking your guts out anyway. 

Tip #6.

Remember, it is all worth it. It is literally 9 months of hell for a lifetime of happiness. You are not alone. 

Our "normal" Trip to the Zoo

  Every Saturday we try to do an activity together as a family. Thankfully my husband has weekends off and since we don't see him much during the week we are grateful for this time together. We had never been to the local zoo here yet with the boys and we had a coupon of course, so we decided to go. 

  We got there right when it opened,it was a beautiful day. We got started walking. We brought a double stroller for the boys just in case the zoo was too much. Immediately my boys wanted out of the stroller and walked to the exhibits all on their own.  They loved seeing the animals and being out in a new environment was an adventure for them.

  As we continued exploring the zoo and going from exhibit to exhibit I couldn't help notice something. My 3yr old Shane who has heart defects, wanted to take breaks and ride in the stroller. I probably wouldn't of thought twice about this if he was the only child . His 2yr old brother wasn't slowing down at all. When I offered the stroller to him when Shane would get in Jeremy refused. Jeremy has a healthy heart. He didn't stop once wanting the stroller till the very end when nap time over took him.

  Of course I knew Shane had heart defects. We suffered with hospital visits and surgeries his first year of life. I always knew he gets a little more fatigued running around our house. SO why did Shane's frequent need to sit in the stroller surprise me so much? I guess it's because as the appointments get few and far between I "forget"? I also see him as a young boy now and not a baby who's activity level is quite different now! As Shane grows his precious heart is taking on more and I'm learning his new "normal" activity level. 

  These moments In life I want to be "normal" and for the most part they are. It's just a reminder once again of my sons fight with CHD in infancy and daily with every heart beat he takes. I hate being reminded of more open heart surgeries to come and think of the pain he will be in, the caution in his daily activities he will need to take. I'm grateful his condition is "fixable" and that he will continue on and be with us as long as he is monitored by doctors. Shane will always be behind his younger brother in energy level, but that doesn't mean he can't just take a break and continue on like Shane does. We still had a great time at the zoo no stroller ride will stop that. I will soak up these times as much as I can. I love being these boys mom.

Emily😃

Assuming The Worst

Happy Friday!

An interesting topic was brought to my attention this week. 

It's about how people (myself included) assume things, and then we assume that assumption is real, and end up hurting our own feelings. 

I am so guilty of this!! 

Example: A few years ago, someone acted a certain way around me and I automatically assumed it was because she didn't like me or it was something I did. I then became offended that I thought she didn't like me. A few weeks later I learned her mom was just diagnosed with cancer and my friend was trying to hold back tears, not avoid me! 

But I was so hurt by what I assumed that 

I was beating myself up over it. I was thinking of all the things I could have done wrong to upset her when in reality it had nothig to do with me. And now I'm feeling pretty sheepish about it. 

I think this is where technology and social media come into play.

How often do we judge how someone is feeling or thinking or even speaking when we cannot hear their voice or read their body language? That is left completely up to our imagination. 

I once made a humble suggestion on my favorite blogger's instagram. People were complaining that she never answers their comments. But this woman is a busy mom with a job and five kids, and I suggested that maybe she had her hands full and was too busy to write back to every single comment. 

I then recieved a message from one of the commenters telling me that she was shocked at my "tone of voice" and that I should be ashamed for talking like that. 

Wait... Unless her phone has a cool feature where she can hear a "tone" when reading comments, how on earth would she be able to know how I meant to say it? I never meant to sound rude at all. But she didn't believe me. She just knew it sounded mean in her head and she chose to let what she thought I said hurt her feelings. 

I see this all the time on Facebook mommy groups. 

And I do agree that being offended IS a choice. 

But I also don't want anyone to think that justifies bullying in any way. I think there is a big difference between stating an opinion and flat out bullying. And just because someone can choose to be or not to be offended, doesn't mean it is ever ok. 

This is where I am trying really hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. 

Maybe it's just a bad day. Maybe it's been a rough year. Maybe they have had a rough life. I don't know. But I do know that I'm going to try harder not to let my own assumptions hurt my own feelings. 

Diastasis Recti

Happy F-R-I-D-A-Y!!! Today I'm giving an important fitness tip that every mother needs to be aware of!

I remember Tyler kissing me as he took our new born son, Benjamin, to have his very first bath. I had just had him two hours before and we spent those two hours doing skin-to-skin and nursing. I was starving and exhausted.

My sweet nurse was moving me into my recovery room. She cleared her throat and timidly said, "I don't know if you know, but it seems that you have developed a diastasis recti split. Have you heard of that? It's when your stomach muscles separate during pregnancy. You might want to look up exercises on how to fix it." 

I am so thankful to that nurse for telling me. I would have never known if she hadn't said something, and then I would be so confused as to why my "mommy pouch" wasn't going away. 

I know a lot of moms work so hard to lose all the weight and do all the sit-ups, but still have a bulge or pouch on their belly. But most of them don't know that they have diastasis recti, and that doing regular and intense ab work outs like sit-ups actually make it worse.  

**It happens most often in moms who carry twins, moms with large babies, or moms who were on the smaller side pre-pregnancy. I did not have this with my first baby, only my second! 

How do you know if you have Diastasis Recti? 

Lie flat on your back with your knees up. 

Lift your head up as if looking at your belly button, so that your stomach muscles tighten. 

Place a few fingers right above your belly button and gently press down. If you have Diastasis Recti, you will feel a wide gap and be able to stick a few fingers in there. 

(If you're still confused, watch this video here) 

When I first checked my split, it was two and a half fingers wide. (One woman I talked to said she could fit her fist in her gap!) Now, one year postpartum, I am down to one tight finger space. I'll admit, I haven't been as diligent on my exercises as I should have. But finding time or energy after chasing around two kids under two is rare. But this year is my goal to fix it completely. 

The picture above is me today. I never took a "before" picture because I was so embarrassed about my "mommy pouch" that I didn't want to see it. But it used to look way worse than this. Like I said, my split is a lot smaller now. It's still there, and I still have a long way to go. But this is so much 

better than it used to be. 

By the way, you CAN fix it without surgery. (And without expensive magic wraps that only give you temporary results. But that's another story for another post!) How? Simple core workouts that don't put intense strain on your abs. Instead, do work outs that are going to pull those muscles back together.

I found a ton of great and simple work outs that fix Diastasis Recti on Pinterest, and on YouTube. The key is to do them often and DON'T attempt to do sit ups or anything like that until your split has healed. I like to follow this video Here. 

If you have any questions please don't be afraid to ask your doctor!! 

DIY Laundry Detergent

Hey guys,  Megan here.  This week I am sharing my recipe for DIY laundry detergent.

 I made my first batch about 6 months ago and it lasted till about a week ago.  So this is by far way cheaper than store bought laundry detergent.  I was hesitant about washing my boys clothes with it in fear of a reaction.  To ease my mind I washed two outfits in the new detergent and watched for a reaction and they had nothing.  So I went to regular washing and it has done fabulously!

One box of Super Washing Soda. $3.24

1 box of Borax. $3.38

1 4lb box of Pure Baking Soda. $2.12

2 bars of Zote. .99 x 2

1 container of Oxy Clean. 3.86

1 container of Purex Crystals. 4.72
 

I got everything at smiths and I gradually buy them.  I will buy something if I have a coupon or if I have a couple extra dollars in my grocery budget for the week. I will tell you that Oxy clean and Purex crystals have coupons regularly but the Borax and arm and hammer coupons are hard to come by.  I didn't find any for the 9 months I was looking. I spent 19.30 not including tax.  Now if this last 6 months with about 1-2 loads of laundry a day this is by far a way better value.

The first thing you do is grate the Zote bars with a cheese grater.

Then just add everything together and mix.  I pour whatever I can back in the Oxy clean and Purex containers and put the rest in three zip lock bags.  I use 2 tablespoons per load.  However, I figured out that the colored lid on the Purex is about 2 tablespoons so I just use that for each load.

Here is the recipe.  Remember to LIKE us on Facebook and Instagram!

The recipe:

One box of Super Washing Soda.

1 box of Borax. 

1 4lb box of Pure Baking Soda.

2 bars of Zote.

1 container of Oxy Clean.

1 container of Purex Crystals.

Grate the Zote bar with a cheese grater.  Mix all the ingredients and store in container of your choice.  Use 1-2 tablespoons per load.

Update on chalkboard:  Next month is my sons birthday so I will be updating again soon.

Life is short

Just recently my husband's mother passed away.  Her name was Iris and she lived to the ripe old age of 86.  She was a wonderful, spunky lady and I miss her very much. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would miss her this much, I don't think the answer would have been the same.  We had difficult relationship at the first, because I had married the baby of her 10 children and essentially taken him away from her.  I never understood that reasoning.  Why would I be taking him away?  He was still her son.  I just didn't understand.  I thought she was being selfish not to share him with me and so it began.  Just after we were engaged, my hubby was in a 30 car pile-up crash on the freeway and broke his leg.  This began the struggle between his mother and I of who knew how to comfort him best.  I am ashamed to say that I felt very threatened, as I am sure she did.  We argued over the dumbest things and never were able to find common ground during that time.  One thing I do remember is her always wanting to be near him.  I didn't have any children yet, and just felt frustrated with it. 
I don't know where, but somewhere along the way, I started to understand her.  I had four boys of my own.  I started to realize how when you have a child you will give anything to make sure that child is safe and well and happy.  It doesn't matter how old they get, that never goes away.  I understood how she would want to see him any chance she got.  And it transferred to my children as well.  They were all important to her and she let them know it.  Anytime they were in trouble with me, she was their champion, defending them and explaining away their bad behavior.  She prescribed ice cream for tummy sickness and rootbeer for headaches.  They loved her for it! 
Now, the older my boys get and the closer to moving out they become, the more I get it.  I love my boys so much it hurts.  My heart overflows with it all.  I do not look forward to the day when they leave to make lives of their own.  And NEVER will I ever stop loving them and trying to make sure they are safe and happy.  I always want to be near them whenever possible. And I will probably have just as much of a hard time as she did, when someone marries my babies. 
She and I finally found common ground when I was able to understand her.  I really hate how short life is. I wish I hadn't wasted all that time trying to fight her, when we could have just been friends.  It seems she and I just became friends over the past decade and now she has had to go away.  She was the one I called after a graveyard shift when I was driving home and couldn't stay awake.  She would talk to me and keep me awake so that i could make it home.  I called her in the middle of a blizzard I was driving in one night because I knew she cared about me and would calm me down when I was scared.  She called me every day for the past few years and even now, there are still voice messages on my phone from her.  I have not been able to listen to them yet.  It hurts too much.  I miss her like you would not believe and I hope she is in a happy, calm place.  I know that she is.  It just stinks to be here without her.  Losing someone important to you really brings into perspective how little time we really have here on earth.  It flies by so fast sometimes.  I am a little less than half her age when she passed away, and I find myself wondering where the time went? Honestly, it feels like you blink, and half your life is gone.  How strange that when I was young, I thought I had so much time.  From now on, I am determined to make the best of the time I have left.  That, I believe, is the only true way to be happy.  And I am very thankful to have another angel in heaven who can be my champion when I am not perfect.  I will always love her.  Thanks, Iris.  Till we meet again. 
      

Dear Mom with Hyperemesis Gravidarum

Dear Mom with Hyperemesis Gravidarum,

Congrats! You are going to have a baby! That is exciting! You better hang on to that exciting piece of news, because for most of us with HG it is the only highlight of the pregnancy.

You are about to endure the longest 40 weeks of your life (if you make it that far). You will be tired, malnourished, dizzy, achy, constipated (thanks to the love-hate relationship with Zofran), and sicker than you have ever been or ever will be in your entire life. You will reach a point when you think that you cannot make it any longer. You will reach a point when you want to quit. You will reach a point when you simply cannot be strong anymore.

You will look at other pregnant women with a deep jealousy. I know I would have loved to have just been hot, tired, sore and swollen. 

You will hear survivors say, "Once you hold that baby in your arms, you forget all the pain and suffering of the last nine months!" And they mean it. And you will want to punch them.

You will encounter people who do not understand.

"She is faking it. No one gets THAT sick when you are pregnant." (I don't care who you are, you can't fake being so sick that you need to be hospitalized.)

"Oh it's normal! It will pass!" (Sorry, but there is nothing normal about throwing up blood and Hulk-green stomach acid 20+ times a day.)


"Can't you just TRY to get better? Like, really try. I don't think you are trying hard enough. Just WILL yourself to get better."

"It's all in your head." (My husband said this to me once during my first pregnancy in an attempt to comfort me when we had to pull over so I could puke on a tree because we were all out of barf bags... Let's just say he never said it again.) 

You will encounter one of "those" people. You know the ones.

 "Have you tried crackers? What about ginger? What about those sickness bands? Did you rub the ginger on your belly? Did you rub it on your toes? Did you try eating every two hours?" (I can't tell you how many times I threw up crackers, peppermint, ginger, etc. If it really worked I would not have needed a PICC line. And honestly, the best natural remedy for HG is giving birth!)

You'll meet a lot of people like that. Be kind. They do not understand and they have every intention of trying to help. HG is not something you fully understand until you have been through it yourself. My mom and all five of her sisters suffered mild to near death cases of HG and even though I watched it all I never fully understood what they went through until I was the one in the hospital bed while three different nurses tried to put an IV in me.

You will dream about all the fatty foods you can get your hands on. You will dream about drinking buckets and buckets of water and wake up crying because you're throwing up before you even fully sit up. You'll long to be "normal." You will give anything just to feel well enough to go outside to get the mail. You'll miss your old self.


You will reach a point when you wonder if it is worth it.


I asked for some REAL responses from women who have been in your shoes. These amazing survivors come from all walks of life. They know what it is like to feel alone. They know what it is like to feel so helpless.

They know the stress of dealing with clueless doctors, mean nurses, unsupportive family and friends, worrying about your other children that need you, tracking fluid intake and output, vitamins, ER visits, hospital stays, hospital bills, IVs, PICC lines, feeding tubes, pumps, calorie counting, weight loss, and the impact HG has on your personal relationships.

I asked these moms if there was anything they wish they could go back and tell themselves when they were sick with HG. These are just a few of the amazing responses!

Dear Mom with HG,

"Don't forget your significant other. It's hard on him too. You can't forget that he also has emotional needs.  Sometimes he will need to cry or complain or just vent. And even though you feel like death, you need to show him that he is still important to you. When you feel this sick it is hard to show any sympathy to anyone else. HG is not worth fighting over. It's hard enough as it is. Don't let it ruin your relationships too."

"Don't be afraid to ask for help or to admit you need help. Asking for help is a sign of STRENGTH, not a sign of weakness."

"You are a lot more likely to get help when you remain pleasant and not bitter. Don't wait so long to ask for help that you are already bitter about the situation."

"It DOES end. I know you feel like it never will and that nine months is just too long. But it WILL end. It is worth making it to the end. Wring your heart out. Stay strong. The little person inside you will grow up to become someone amazing and every time you look at him/her you will know true strength."

"These nine months are only a small fraction of your parenting journey. You have many wonderful adventures ahead. It is worth it. Try to look at it from an eternal perspective."

"Try (we know it's hard) to not be so angry when people say ignorant things. They don't know what you are facing. Keep the people who support you close."

"There are a lot of "ups" (example: finally having a bowel movement after two weeks, holding down 1/4 of a milkshake, gaining a pound or two) and there are a lot of "downs" (more downs than anything. I'm sure you don't need an example). But the biggest "up" will come in the form of a precious baby."

"The toughest challenges in life are worth the most."

"Don't worry about vitamins and what you should try to eat. You have HG. Just eat what you can whenever you can."

"Don't be stubborn. Go to the hospital when you need to. Even if you just THINK you might need an IV. It's better to go and get it than to let yourself suffer more." (When I read this one my husband gave me the "I told you so" look.)

"Push for better treatment. Be an advocate for yourself. Switch doctors if you need to. This is your life and your baby's life. You need the best treatment you can get." (For advice or help finding a better doctor in your area, visit helpher.org)

"Don't be afraid to 'fire' bad nurses. If they aren't treating you well or aren't washing their hands or something. You need to remember that YOU are paying THEM to help you. You have every right to ask for a different nurse. Don't let them intimidate you." (This one came from my dear mother, who suffered HG FIVE times. She is my hero.)

"Invest in paper/plastic plates, bowls, cups, etc. It will save your energy from doing dishes and you wont have to deal with a smelly sink."

"It is normal for someone with HG to feel guilty. And I think I felt too much guilt. I don't know if I have any advice for that because I don't think you can prevent it. But know that it is not your fault."

"Don't lie to yourself or to your doctor about how awful you feel."

"You may not be able to feel it or visualize it, but one day you will be happy again. I used to hate hearing people say it will be worth it... But it truly is."

"You will feel guilty asking for help, especially with your other children. You may feel like a bad mother for not being able to do normal mommy things or cook and clean. But as an HG child myself, I watched my mom suffer with HG four times after me and I hardly remember it. I remember bits and pieces but it didn't have such a big impact on my life. It didn't shake our relationship or scar me. I knew she loved me. And I understood that when my sibling came that she would get better again."

(This last one is my favorite.)

"This suffering is terrible, but it will utterly change who you are and how you respond to others' suffering. It will help you understand why Christ carried that cross. Hang in there. You can do this."


No one knows the cause of Hyperemesis Gravidarum. There is no cure (except delivery... and that first meal after delivering is pure heaven!) Please know that you are not alone. There are women and doctors who understand. It WILL end. It is nine months of pure agony for a life time of joy. And I promise you that you will not regret one second that you spend hunched over the toilet seat with a towel at your knees, just in case you puke so hard that you can't control your bladder.  Good luck, Momma!

(If you think you might be suffering from HG, you can visit helpher.org to look up symptoms and get help with treatment.)