Life is short

Just recently my husband's mother passed away.  Her name was Iris and she lived to the ripe old age of 86.  She was a wonderful, spunky lady and I miss her very much. If you had asked me 10 years ago if I would miss her this much, I don't think the answer would have been the same.  We had difficult relationship at the first, because I had married the baby of her 10 children and essentially taken him away from her.  I never understood that reasoning.  Why would I be taking him away?  He was still her son.  I just didn't understand.  I thought she was being selfish not to share him with me and so it began.  Just after we were engaged, my hubby was in a 30 car pile-up crash on the freeway and broke his leg.  This began the struggle between his mother and I of who knew how to comfort him best.  I am ashamed to say that I felt very threatened, as I am sure she did.  We argued over the dumbest things and never were able to find common ground during that time.  One thing I do remember is her always wanting to be near him.  I didn't have any children yet, and just felt frustrated with it. 
I don't know where, but somewhere along the way, I started to understand her.  I had four boys of my own.  I started to realize how when you have a child you will give anything to make sure that child is safe and well and happy.  It doesn't matter how old they get, that never goes away.  I understood how she would want to see him any chance she got.  And it transferred to my children as well.  They were all important to her and she let them know it.  Anytime they were in trouble with me, she was their champion, defending them and explaining away their bad behavior.  She prescribed ice cream for tummy sickness and rootbeer for headaches.  They loved her for it! 
Now, the older my boys get and the closer to moving out they become, the more I get it.  I love my boys so much it hurts.  My heart overflows with it all.  I do not look forward to the day when they leave to make lives of their own.  And NEVER will I ever stop loving them and trying to make sure they are safe and happy.  I always want to be near them whenever possible. And I will probably have just as much of a hard time as she did, when someone marries my babies. 
She and I finally found common ground when I was able to understand her.  I really hate how short life is. I wish I hadn't wasted all that time trying to fight her, when we could have just been friends.  It seems she and I just became friends over the past decade and now she has had to go away.  She was the one I called after a graveyard shift when I was driving home and couldn't stay awake.  She would talk to me and keep me awake so that i could make it home.  I called her in the middle of a blizzard I was driving in one night because I knew she cared about me and would calm me down when I was scared.  She called me every day for the past few years and even now, there are still voice messages on my phone from her.  I have not been able to listen to them yet.  It hurts too much.  I miss her like you would not believe and I hope she is in a happy, calm place.  I know that she is.  It just stinks to be here without her.  Losing someone important to you really brings into perspective how little time we really have here on earth.  It flies by so fast sometimes.  I am a little less than half her age when she passed away, and I find myself wondering where the time went? Honestly, it feels like you blink, and half your life is gone.  How strange that when I was young, I thought I had so much time.  From now on, I am determined to make the best of the time I have left.  That, I believe, is the only true way to be happy.  And I am very thankful to have another angel in heaven who can be my champion when I am not perfect.  I will always love her.  Thanks, Iris.  Till we meet again.