Christmas: the day before and after

It is Christmas Eve. I think I love this day better than actual Christmas because for our family its just a family day to just hang out. No worries about who we need to visit next. The magic of Christmas is still in the air. Its just a lovely day. Much better than the day after. Or is it?

Listen to this song tomorrow when you are having a bit of a post Christmas let down. Its a good one, and a reminder of what this is all about.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvM3Lp_BZeQ

A moment of longing

This month has flown by, this year has flown by, time flies by. Today was a new experience for me and my husbands family, we celebrated Christmas early so we could all be together. It felt strange at first but once it began it was Christmas. The best part was it wasn't rushed, it wasn't full of grumpy kids who woke up before dawn, and we had time to laugh.

   Time is such a constant hum in the back ground of our lives. We watch the clock for the next event. We watch the clock saying when this happens things will be different. We watch the clock and still wonder where the time goes. 

    Some things in my life have made me question what will the future bring. What will I miss if I am no longer here. The things I'd miss each day if I were to be taken from this life. The things I'd miss if I didn't see my children everyday or if I wasn't there for life events.  For a few moments today I felt like I was getting an image of whAt I might miss in the future. People who have become my family over the last 10 years. Seeing my kids play with cousins who are about discover the opposite sex. Watching my shy little E hid in my arm from aunts who want to scoop her up and love her. 

  What does my future hold, where will I be in a week, a month, a year. I pray it will be with my children. Each little moment is pressious. I long to get back the moments that I've waisted over the past 10 years. I long to get my life back into a constant state of happiness. Time does not go back, I'm glad it doesnt for it would take the good away too, time can only go forward and I can create the good.

Happy 3rd Birthday My Miracle Baby Shane!

  There were many days as you were fighting for your life I didn't think this day would come. This road has not been an easy one,. Your strength has fought many statistics and proven doctors wrong. Your smile allows me to see heaven and always be reminded of the TRUE miracle you are. When you throw your fits I remember you are strong willed,because thats how you fought for your life. I will always remember your first word because it was such a tasks for you to finally say it. I know this journey is not over with you and as you grow I continue to fight for you. 

 My precious Shane, I will not stop fighting for you because you didn't stop fighting when your mom wanted to continually hold you. Shane your mom loves you and I hope you will understand one day that the lord saved you and gave you life when he didn't have to. He has a plan for you and I hope you full fill every bit of it, whatever it may be! You are such a great big brother and I love seeing your personality develop and Change. You were truly a blessing for us. I love you! Mom

The Bully

Bully: A person who uses strength or power to harm or intimidate someone weaker.

Everyone knows a bully. Everyone has been bullied or maybe even been the bully themselves.

I wasn't too popular in school. I knew it. I was different. Even a little weird. Sometimes I was ok with it and sometimes I wasn't. But I wish I had confidence then like I do now. 

I am going to share a few of my personal bully experiences but I'm not doing it for a pity party. I promise there is a point to it. :) 

I can distinctly remember the night after cheerleader try outs my 8th grade year. I made the squad. I had celebrated with my family, I called my grandparents, and texted my friends all night. Before I went to shower I plugged my phone in to charge. When I came back I had a miss call and a voicemail. I can still hear the voice on the message so clearly. 

"U-G-L-Y! U-G-L-Y! You ugly!" 

I remember looking at myself in my bedroom floor length mirror as I listened. My scrawny 13 year old self. And I burst into tears. Because I believed it. And I believed it for a long time. I never told anyone about the message. I was so embarrassed about it. But I let it control my thoughts for too long. 

Another time was the summer before my senior year. I was in the choir presidency and we were having a meeting at a park. I was waiting for a ride from a dear friend in my ward. 

I heard her pull up and knock on the door. 

I opened the door ready to go. And then I noticed her nervous expression. 

"I didn't do it," she said. 

"I don't know who did. But you need to come see this." 

And there, on my very own driveway, in permanent marker, someone wrote, "Avery is a.... (Long list of profanities)." 

Thankfully my mom is a master as getting stains out so she immediately scrubbed it off. I went to the meeting (that didn't last long because no one else showed up) and then I went home. I remember staring at the spot where the message was and wondering what I did to make someone hate me so much. This bullying incident is probably the closest I ever came to experiencing depression before I had children. 

Now, here I am. Just a few months away from my 21st birthday. I'm a little more confident in myself and I've learned to shake off rude comments and ignore bullies like everyone says to. 

Except one. 

There is a bully who just won't leave me alone. She is cruel. She is unforgiving. And she is hard to ignore because she is me. 

Some of the symptoms of PPD are feelings of helplessness, guilt and inadequacy. This second round of PPD wasn't as obvious as the first. It started with little thoughts here and there. 

"I snapped at Tyler. That was bad. I'm ashamed and sorry. I need to do better." 

"I can't keep up with the house work. I am just not cut out to be a good wife and mother." 

"I just sounded like an idiot in front of a customer. I just need to keep my dumb mouth shut. No wonder no one wants to hang out with me."

I am the bully. 

A fellow PPD survivor recently said, "Be kind to yourself." 

And every time one of those mean thoughts comes into my head I can hear those words. 

Be kind to yourself. 

I can't run from this bully. 

But I can stand up for myself.

And I'm ready for this bully to be gone for good. 

Postpartum depression isn't forever

2 years ago:
I  cried. All the time--in the bathroom, in the car. Basically anywhere I was alone. I thought of driving my car off the side of the road into a big ditch, but decided to wait until after Christmas. I wanted Ava to be able to look at pictures of Christmas and have at least one year with me. I was exhausted. I was scared to be alone. I fought with my husband. I yelled at my kids. I had horrible anxiety attacks and flashbacks. I avoided certain things that reminded me of my labor and delivery several months earlier. This was my life. Every. Single. Day.

That is the face of postpartum mood disorders. I was diagnosed with PTSD, and at the time of the diagnosis that's all I had. I did get postpartum depression later, after I stopped seeing my counselor, but at that time I had learned coping mechanisms from my PTSD. Everything about the first 2 years of my daughter's life is cloudy. It was rough to say the least.


Today:
I am advancing in a career that I love. I have some of the best friends I could ask for. I fall in love with my children even more each day and laugh way too much at their shenanigans. And have a husband that would take on the worlds strongest man if I asked him to. While, I had all that two years ago, today The difference is I am happy. I wake up (reluctantly, I hate mornings) knowing that today is going to be great like the day before. I have had my fair share of trials. I lost my grandma recently. Things break down. Kids don't listen. Dishes break at the most inconvenient time. But, deep down, I am happy. And that, my friend, is a miracle.

That is the face of a survivor. That is the life of a warrior mom.

Life doesn't have to end with PPD and related disorders. It does get better. You can do more than survive, you can totally rock life. It does take time. It does take recognition and hope. Seek help. Talk about it. It gets better!!!. I won't lie, I do get moments where my old brain creeps in, but I am able to keep it at bay for the most part. Happiness is something I had to work for at one time, so now, when it so naturally comes, I don't take it for granted.

Dollar Store Decorative Pallet

I recently noticed that wood pallets are really popular for decorations right now. So I decided to do a wood pallet made of styrofoam from my local Dollar Tree. You can find the styrofoam board usually near the school and office supplies with the poster boards.

You'll need:
One styrofoam board

Paint (acrylic from Walmart, 50 cents a bottle)

Hot Glue Gun

Paint brush 

An Exacto knife or very sharp knife 

Total cost: $2-5. (I had most things already on hand) 

I have used this board for a previous pallet project but this is pretty much what it looks like. 

First, decide your size and cut it out. I make mine 10x15. Next, cut your board into long strips. I only do four but you can do as many as you want. Then, cut two pieces that are about the height of your pallet. I think they look more wood like if they are a bit uneven but if you are OCD you can use a ruler to help you cut perfectly straight and even strips.

Then, peel off the paper layer on both sides of your board strips. 

Ok, at this point you have two options. You can be a little lazy and glue your board together right now. I have done this with two of my pallets and they still turned out great. But for this tutorial I am painting the boards first before gluing because I think it gives it more detail and looks more wood-like. I will give an example of each option though.  If you want to just glue it now, this is what it should look like. 

Arrange the boards into the shape of your pallet. I like to stagger my boards just a little bit.

The side you are going to paint needs to be facing down. Then run your glue gun vertically a few inches from the edge on both sides and put your two smaller boards on the glue.

(This is what the BACK of your pallet should look like after gluing. The two back boards and glue hold your boards together.) 

Then you're ready to paint! Unless you're doing it very detailed like I am for this piece. Then you need to paint before gluing. 

For a more wood-like appearance, this is my secret weapon. A brush that has stiff bristles instead of soft. (No idea what it is called, so if you know leave it in the comments!)

Paint your first color going the same direction the whole way. 

You don't really need to paint the smaller pieces since they aren't seen but I did anyway. 

Next I highly recommend painting the edges. Preferably a color that compliments your base color. It makes the whole pieces look more professional. If you chose to glue your pallet before painting be sure to paint the outside edges of your pallet as well. I also like to do a small rough edging around my boards.

Once it is dry, I always use a TINY amount of brown paint to to make it look like wood. Just random small and light strokes. Not too many. If it looks too harsh, take the original color and blend it in. I recommend blending a lot because it looks more natural. 

When I paint my whole pallets brown I use black and a little cream to make a more wood-like appearance like in my thanksgiving pallet.

Once that fully dries you can glue it all together just like I showed above! 

(Back after glued together) 

(Front after glued together)

This next picture is to show you the difference when you glue the pallet together before painting and when you glue after painting. 

Top is painting first, bottom is gluing first. 

Next is the lettering and decorating! You can do this in a few different ways. You can use stencils and get it perfect, or you can hand write/draw what you want on a regular piece of paper and then arrange it on the board where you want them. Take a ball point pen and trace it onto the styrofoam pushing just hard enough to leave an imprint of where to paint. Take a thin paintbrush and follow the imprints. That's how I did my lemonade pallet. 

Or you can pick a font on your computer and print it out and trace it on to your pallet the same way. That is what I'm doing for this pallet. 

Then you can leave as is or decorate! 

I'm not much of an artist so I apologize for my funny snowflakes! But I hope this inspires you to make your own pallet and get your crafty on! Enjoy!

Dear mom

Dear mom,
You brought your disabled daughter to a public tea party. I wanted to say thanks for bringing her and showing my kids it's ok to be different. I wanted to say it's ok that she is a little unruly, I get it. I wanted to say, my kids have thrown even bigger tantrums in public. I wanted to say she is beautiful. I wanted to say that I work with children in similar circumstances and it is awesome that you are letting her experience this, even though it's a lot of work.  I wanted to say I have had to leave places because my child couldn't take the crowd too. I wanted to.

But I didn't.

I had a chance to possibly make you feel a little bit better, you were obviously worn down. And I didn't.

I don't know why either.

Maybe I will have the strength to next time.

Christmas Story: The Year of the Flood

I'll be honest, I'm so stressed right now with everything that I have going on that I am a bit of a Scrooge this year. I'm just not feeling like pulling out the tree and decorating because it seems like so much more work. And the fact we are having an Indian Summer instead of a white Christmas isn't helping. So to help me get into the Christmas spirit, I decided to share my favorite Christmas stories every Friday this month. This one is a personal one. It is my most memorable Christmas.

I was about 11 years old. A week or so after Thanksgiving, a pipe busted and flooded two floors of our house. Everything was ruined except what was in our bedrooms on the top floor, but the main floor and basement had about two feet of water. I remember our church and family all came over to help pump the water out and save what we could. I remember I had to stay in my room all day while the adults worked downstairs. I remember my mom crying. 

I was old enough to know that Santa was the spirit of giving and not an actual person. And that morning I knew that he probably wouldn't be visiting us that year. We lost so much and had to pay for a lot of damages. And I was right. 

As Christmas grew closer, I remember my mom trying to explain to my four younger siblings that Santa wouldn't be bringing much this year. We all had such big hopes for a Christmas miracle. Maybe daddy would get an extra big Christmas bonus. 

On Christmas Eve, Mom made us gather around her big bed.  Daddy was at work and wouldn't be home until early the next morning. She told us we were going to sing and say a prayer to thank Heavenly Father for all that we did have, even if it wasn't much. Just then, the doorbell rang. Mom went to answer it. I listened at the top of the stairs. 

"Sister Hintze, we have a few things here for you. You can protest and pretend you don't need this, but I'm still going to bring it in anyway." 

I watched as the Bishop of our ward and one of his counselors brought in two big boxes. I remember feeling a little embarrassed because we didn't have a real floor. The carpet and tile were ruined in the flood. It was just white, bare wood that was left. We had to wear shoes or we would step on splinters. 

The bishop shook Mom's hand, wished her a Merry Christmas and then left. We all raced down the stairs to open the boxes. 

One box was full of food. Food that we really needed. Mom was especially happy to open that box. She cried. I didn't really care at the time because it didn't occur to me that we were struggling for food, but now that I am a mom myself I know exactly why she cried.

The other box was full of gifts for all of us. Each carefully wrapped with our names on them. Santa had come after all. Mom put the presents under the tree and turned the Christmas lights on. She made us all go back upstairs to her room. 

Then we knelt down as a family and thanked Heavenly Father for our Christmas miracle. The spirit was so strong. Mom and I cried. We sang hymns and Christmas songs until mom made us go to bed.  

The next morning we were so excited and so thankful we even got to open presents. I got a new outfit for school, some natural colored make up items, a hair brush and a journal. The journal was my favorite. I still have it. Only now it is full of my adventures as a twelve year old in Jr. High. I remember feeling so thankful that someone went out of their way to give my family a Christmas. I never thought I would be on the receiving end of such generosity and charity.

 I don't know who did it, but I wish so much that I could thank them and tell them how much it meant to us. We still talk about it as the best Christmas we ever had. It has been 10 years since that Christmas and I still tear up when I remember it. 

My mom used to say that Christmas was more than just a day. It is a month long celebration. Decorations, lights on every street and house, parties, excitement, music, selflessness, giving, service... The whole world celebrates all month long. So my holiday season begins right now. I am going to pull out the tree as soon as I can. (Which isn't until tomorrow night, maybe Sunday morning... It depends on how tired I am!)

Merry Christmas!  

-Avery 

Another Day of Motherhood/Life

  You know when you have those weeks that nothing seems to go right or at least those couple days?Well that was my week this week.Of course we all have them and I honestly have had way worse happen in my life, but I think we are all allowed to have the woe me days. I think as a mother we have them often, but I try as hard as I can to not have them consume me. It also helps when you have nice people around you to help you. Huge Plus!

  My week started off with my husband waking me up Monday morning at 5:45am saying his car wouldn't start. Unless you have a newborn baby or are heading to work nobody should be up at this time. :)  I normally would of just said take the van we just wont go anywhere today which typically happens anyways. However that day Shane my son was getting evaluated by the school district to see if he could qualify for their Preschool. With his speech delay this would be of great importance and there is limited time since his 3 year old birthday is coming up. I also that night had a coupon class at 7pm in ogden which with my husbands work schedule the way it is and his commute he wouldn't be able to get home in time for me to use the car for that either. So I grumbled got out of bed and tried to see what was wrong with his car. It was turning on and lights were coming on but not starting officially. We tried jumping the battery, so on and so forth. Every option we tried. Also this was a VERY COLD MORNING I believe it  was around 12 degrees! BRRR that woke me up! The other option was I could take him to the train station, but that meant waking my beautifully sleeping children. Who would be very cranky if I did. Well we waited till more of a proper hour for my boys to wake up and took my husband to train station to head to work. 

  The rest of the day the boys were cranky. Shane did ok for his preschool testing but toward the end was not handling it well. Jeremy on the other hand threw a fit during a ton of the testing. We got home and my coupon class cancelled on me for a family emergency so once again i felt frustrated. Like I said though I have had way worse!

My week continued with the next day my 19 m old son   hitting his head on my open van door and needing to go get stitches....

  My son fought and fought during the whole stitches process. He even fought me putting the towel on his eyebrow to stop the bleeding.... He is tough though and we all made it through.... They were both rewarded with a token for the ball machine and they both came home with a bouncy ball.  We got home around 3 or so from doctor and I ordered pizza! I was exhausted! After I ordered pizza my sweet friend offered to bring me dinner after seeing on facebook how my day was. I told her that was very sweet and that I had just ordered pizza.  The thought alone helped make my day better though! Its amazing what simple acts of kindness can do! 

  So far the rest of my week had been normal and I hate to be so negative about being a mom because its a wonderful thing and the hugs, and snot kisses they give you make it all worth it! I know with two boys this wont be my last trip to the doctor for stitches but I can hope right? I also continue to amaze myself what I can handle by myself with two boys under 3, just 15 m apart.  This was definitely one for the books for sure! Oh and by the way my husbands battery was the issue to his car so that was very nice! Just the price of the battery was it and the time to take it out and in! The auto zone guy said that the battery was only about 50% charged and when he did the slow charging process it remained the same. So it was a bad battery and we got a discount on our new one because the old one ran out before its time!: )  I hope your week was better than mine and that you can find the positive in these hard things that happen in life like I TRY to do. Till next week and hope you have a  Happy Thanksgiving!

Emily

The Question

There is a certain question that I am asked more than any other question. And I understand why. It's a really good question. I ask myself this same question often.

It keeps me up at night. It crosses my mind when I'm doing the dishes with my two year old hugging my legs and asking for a cracker. It taps on my heart when I'm rocking my sweet baby to sleep. 

"Are you going to have more children?" 

This is a very valid question, especially when people hear about my hard pregnancies. 

I never know how to answer. A few times I have answered yes. I am then labeled as crazy, and at this point a few friends have jumped to the conclusion that Hyperenesis is "not that bad" if I'm willing to do it again. I often feel like they want to hear me say no. 

Not to offend, but it truly is nobody's business. I was pretty shocked when someone first asked me. I would never ask someone something so personal unless I was close to them. But apparently I'm behind on the times and it is a very common question. And I am now very comfortable in sharing my answer.  

I have never answered no. I can't say no. It doesn't feel right at all. 

This is all that I know... 

I want more kids. I love children. I love being a mom. I definitely want to wait a while before another one. But I do WANT more. 

I feel like I am supposed to have more. That's why I can't say no. I feel like I have more babies waiting to join our family. I don't feel like we are complete yet.

Obviously it's not only up to me or to my husband, but also to our Heavenly Father. He sent us Benjamin when we weren't planning on having another baby for a while. We learned from that experience that Heavenly Father definitely has His own plan for us. 

I'm terrified to have more. Just the pregnancy part. I have panic attacks and buy a million tests every time I feel even slightly sick. But maybe (not likely, but still possible) I won't get as sick again. I'd give my left arm to not get get sick and have a "fluffy" pregnancy. 

Heck, I'd even be fine with regular morning sickness. Throwing up three times a day would seem like nothing compared to throwing up every hour. 

I can handle constant nausea better than violent vomiting every time I sit up, move too fast or stand too long.  It wouldn't be fun. But I'd take it over HG any day. 

So there is my answer. Yes, I want more children. Adoption is a possibility, since I hate being pregnant. We will just have to see what happens in two years. We are definitely planning on at least one more. Hopefully.

I apologize for not posting last Friday. We had a loss in our family that hit me pretty hard. I am still struggling with it. I think I'm fine and then I hear about a new book and think I need to call her and ask if she has read it yet. She read faster than anyone I know. And then it just hits me that I can't call her anymore. I know I'll feel better soon. I'm just waiting for the raw sting to fade. 

Have a good weekend! Don't forget to be thankful! 

The moment of truth

 

**** please read with an open heart***

   One of my coworkers this past week brought my life into perspective. She is the sweetest, kindest, person who wasn't judging me when she said this, she was talking about a few close friends of hers, she most likely doesn't realize the affect the conversation had. She said she didn't understand how people who used to so strongly believe in the LDS faith can fall away and she didn't want that for her and her husband. 

     I'm ashamed to say I can answer that question. I have not totally turned my life away from the teaching of the Lord. I still attend church regularly, I serve in my calling faithfully, I teach my children to pray to sing, I pray and I pray, yet I'm not the person I know I should be. 

    The truth is, it is easier to be what people want you to be. My husband has never been really active. I believe the actions that made me believe we'd have eternal happiness were filled with great intention but short lived. It is easier to stay home than to go to a place you are uncomfortable. Also the more church you miss regardless of the reason makes it harder to go back to church. It's easier to say and do what everyone else is doing. I am 29 years old, the pressure I feel from my husband is worse than when I was in high school. When my relationship with my husband unraveled a few years ago I found myself trying to conform to what he seemed to want. I became someone I hate. The truth is it was easer in that moment to change me instead of him. My life seemed easier to make my beliefs take the back burner.

    To be honest with myself, I have taken the easier road. I have straid. I have been bouncing back and forth over the line of being faithful and being someone else for far to long.  As I prayed to my Father in Heaven today I made a promise to my self to be honest with myself. Are the things I'm doing, not doing, and saying reflecting how I feel on the inside. I was reminded today from a sister in the ward that change is hard, I will fail before I succeed. I will try and try again. 

   My favorite sin to over come this week is my language. I will say clean things and have clean thoughts, I will do my best to make others comfortable around me. 

    Thank you Morgan for making me be honest with myself.  I want to be happy, I want to find forgiveness, I want my children to have the relationship with there Father in Heaven that I used to have. I know what is right and what is wrong, I just need to make better choices. I know I can be forgiven by my Savior if I ask with a changed heart. don'tI know my savior lives and loves me. I can do hard things.

Couponing Rocks

  I have mentioned before that I coupon to save money. Since I love it so much I also teach FREE couponing classes to help others save as well. I coupon the very Practical easy way. Some people go crazy like those Extreme coupon er Shows on TLC. Yes I love saving like they do,but the ways they do it is a full time job. No thanks! I like my 20 mins a week I spend on couponing.  All I know is that it never ceases to amaze me the savings I get on everyday items.  Things you use daily like shampoo, conditioner, laundty soap, toothpaste, body soaps, and the list goes on and on.

   Ever since I started couponing I get 50-100 percent off my grocery bill! Obviously not everything you need has coupons like meat,bread, eggs, ete...  but you learn to find it when its on sale and stock up when you can.

  Couponing is more than just coupons. Its learning how to use them at the right time. and  having multiple coupons is a must, so you can stock up on that item till the next sale. Using coupons I also can give my family a stock pile of food and give me more sense of security if something were to happen.  Couponing also gives me a way to contribute to the finances since I'm a stay at home mom, the savings is just an incredible bonus! 

Happy shopping! 
Emily

If you are in Utah and want to learn more I can teach you in my area or lead you to another teacher in many other areas of Utah to learn! 

From her mouth...

We all know that kids say the craziest things sometimes....

We had a crazy few weeks with my grandma passed away.  My 4 year old said some pretty insightful and funny things.

When things were nearing the end she said " this is kind of like the 'Lion King'" I think that statement was just as much for me as it was for her. I has been struggling with how to really explain death and life to her. And that moment it became clear on how I could break it down to her level. Heck, so I could break it down to my level... Because thinking of her face magically appearing in the stars is a lot better than thinking of a world without her in it at all. Due to this statement, we were able to have the discussion I had I visioned but could never figure out how to do.

From her mouth, my prayers had been answered and her innocence showed me just how insightful she is to the world around us.

Taking some time

Hello everyone! 
It's been a while I've taken some time off. We were very lucky to be blessed with a beautiful baby boy 3 weeks ago, he was 2 weeks early I might add.
Was 7lbs 2 oz 20 inches long which is pretty cool because my daughter weighed the exact same when she was born. He is sweet and perfect and nice and healthy and we are enjoying every minute of it. I read Michelles post last Sunday (if you haven't you should) she said it was ok to take some time as a mother just for you and I decided then that is what I'm going to do. I am going to take some time to enjoy the snuggles with my kids and the new baby smell before the holidays and work gets crazy. So today's post is a little short because I'm busy taking a little time for myself and family.  But I will be back next week with some fun bridal shower and reception ideas. Thanks for reading and understanding.  Don't forget it is ok to take a little time :)

SIMPLIFYING YOUR LIFE FOR THE HOLIDAY'S

   I'm stealing this topic and tools from a recent women s activity for my church. I loved what was said and think the importance of it is high. The upcoming Holiday's can get overwhelming and I hope these tips I stole will help you either this year or next. I know I'm going to try to do what I can also this year. Just remember this is about simplifying so don't feel like you need to do these all at once. These are Tools to use to build  the final project. 

 FIRST TOOL: SET ASIDE FUNDs ALL YEAR: Set a budget for Christmas and what you are going to spend. Then set aside money per paycheck or bonus all year for Christmas. Try to avoid going in to debt just to stress yourself out next year.

SECOND TOOL: BUY EARLY: Make a list of who you are buying for, for christmas and buy early. You can buy a little at a time so we are not all bumping each other in the store and stressed out about all the gifts you need to do at once. I like to try to have everything done by black friday.  January  usually has incredible deals because everyone is spending their Christmas money so why not try to buy for next Christmas in January?

THIRD TOOL: START EARLY: Try to deliver those neighbor gifts and friend gifts earlier in the month.Who wants another plate of treats two days before Christmas with all the rest of goodies on the table? There are so many cheap and way easy, fun, and creative neighbor/teacher/ friend gifts on P interest or the internet. We are so lucky to have the internet to get these ideas! 

FOURTH TOOL:  ELIMINATE / DE CLUTTER AND GET ORGANIZED:  Pick a room a week,month,day, weekend. However you want to do it and have a box to keep, sell, donate, recycle. The rule that if you haven't used it in a year than most likely you will not use it the next year. Hold a yard sale too and get some money for those unused items.  Get rid of clutter how overwhelmed and horrible we feel when clutter is filling up our lives.  We get more Christmas gifts and there is no where to put them. This will help with that. 

FIFTH TOOL: HAVE A DAILY CLEAN SCHEDULE:  Again there are plenty of ideas for this on P interest! This schedule can go along with your children's chore charts but it should have things you do daily, weekly, Monthly.  I can get overwhelmed as a young mom trying to keep everything clean but these schedules help minimize your to do list. The lists of  these that I have seen will probably take less than 20 mins a day. 

SIXTH TOOL: DELEGATE :  Delegate the cleaning, wrapping, shopping with others in your family so you are not doing it all on your own. Kids can even help too. We can't do this on our own. WE need help! 

SEVENTH TOOL:TRADITIONS/TIME MANAGEMENT:  Pick a few traditions and or parties you like to do with your family every year, and eliminate the rest. You will not be able to do every thing that you want. So pick the ones that are most important to you and let the others go. Dont overbook yourself with Parties. Sometimes people spread their selfs thin even deciding who your going where for Christmas. Choose what scenario is best for your family. Its ok to say NO!

FINAL TOOL: COMPARING KILLS:  You will see your friends and family doing this and that on facebook or emails. Or you go to a party and hope yours will be just as good. You can't compare what others are doing. Although its easier said than done. What works for your family works for you! Thats what make YOU wonderful and the world go around! Everyone is different and everyone has different traditions! Your party may not be like so and so party but its ok! Dont beat yourself up everyone is different and why add more stress to your holiday worrying about the petty things!

  I hope these tools wiill help Simplify your lives and pick which ones you want to do in your families! I have learned a lot from them and I hope you will too! I"m definitely going to use these this year and future years to come. Happy Holidays....:) 

Emily

  

I Support You

Happy #ISYweek!

Words are a powerful thing. 

When I was a senior in high school, I learned about a man named Dr. Masaru Emoto. In the 1990s he conducted an experiment with words. He took ordinary Petri dishes and put ordinary water in them. He put a piece of tape on the lids and wrote on them. On some he wrote positive and encouraging words. On the others he wrote ugly and degrading words. And then he froze them. 

After they froze, he pulled them out and looked at the ice under a microscope. Oddly enough, all of the ice with degrading and mean words on them froze in ugly and disorganized patterns. All of the ice labeled with kind and encouraging words froze in gorgeous and unique patterns. 

"Always be careful of what you say,

For you might regret it someday.

In every heart cries a silent plea,

'Somebody, please love me.'"

This is just what our words can do to water. Just imagine what our words do to people. (And we are always told that our bodies are mostly water... Let that one sink in...)

This week is I Support You week. 

As I have mentioned before, I am Pro Mom-choice. And this week I am taking it to the next level. I am writing encouraging words to moms that formula feed and leaving them on cans of formula at the store. I support you! 

We don't always have to agree. But we do need to stop judging other moms for the choices they make for their own individual families. This is the week we show support, and not just for moms in our "cliques."

What is there to accomplish in bashing a mom for how she feeds her baby? Seriously? NOTHING good comes of this behavior. It damages. It not only brings her down, but you as well. Your words are a reflection of your character. And when you bring one mom down, it brings us all down. It rips and segragates us more. It turns beautiful motherhood into a pointless competition for bullies and petty arguments. It's time to step it up ladies. It's time to be classy. There is a fine line between having an opinion and being a bully about your opinion. And it is possible to state your opinion without hurting someone else. But it is even better to set your opinion aside, unless it is specifically asked for, and offer support instead. (MYOB: Mind Your Own Baby.) 

I challenge every mother reading this to avoid those petty Mom-Wars. Instead, offer support. 

I have exclusively pumped, I have chosen to formula feed, and I am currently breastfeeding. I have been judged harshly for all three! I have two extremely healthy little boys. You can't even tell who was fed what! 

To the moms that chose to formula feed: I support you! Isn't formula a miracle? I know first hand that formula feeding can have challenges of it's own. Money, finding the right formula for sensitive tummies, getting bottles ready in the dark at three in the morning, and ridicule from breastfeeding moms. It can get hard when people don't approve of your choice to formula feed. When I formula fed I was told I was lazy. YOU ARE NOT LAZY!  You are a good mom! I support you! 

To the mom that tried to breastfeed but couldn't: I support you! It may not have been the experience you planned on, but don't let that stop you from bonding with your baby! YOU DID NOT FAIL! Doing the best you can with the situation you are given is the furthest thing from failing. How you feed your baby has nothing to so with the quality of life and love you give your child. It can get hard when people don't approve of how you feed your child. You don't need to explain yourself or why breastfeeding didn't work out. Don't let anyone look down on you for it. I have been there and I support you! 

To the mom who CAN'T breastfeed: I support you! I have several friends who cannot breastfeed because of a medical condition. (Yes, mental illness such as PPD counts as a medical condition!) You are keeping yourself healthy so that you can be there for your baby, both physically and mentally! A mother's health is just as important as the baby's health. High five for healthy moms! I know some moms who just physically cannot produce milk. You'll hear breastfeeding moms go on and on about how rare it is and that you were just not educated. But you know your situation better than anyone. How dare they make such judgements! You should not have to explain your situation to anyone. It is not their business. I support you! 

To the mom that chose to breastfeed: I support you! Breastfeeding is hard! I wish someone had told me that when I was a new mom! Supply issues, latching issues, pain, clogged ducts, mastitis, oversupply, nursing in public, pressure to give a bottle... The list goes on and on.  It can get hard when people don't approve of how you feed your child. I am there right now. I support you! 

To the mom that exclusively pumps: I support you! I know how grueling it is. I know the stress and pressure of pumping enough for the next feeding. I know being sleep deprived and hooked up to the pump like a cow for more than half your day is exhausting. I know some moms just don't understand why you don't just breastfeed. It stings every time. And it can get hard when people don't approve of how you feed your child. But seriously, you are supermom! I support you! 

To the mom that is reading this: You are a good mom. Don't think for one second that you are not, just because other moms don't agree with your choices. What is best for you may not be best for them, and vice versa.

 Motherhood is a long, hard, beautiful, exciting and rewarding journey. Let's stop judging and criticizing and start supporting!!! Let's be thankful for HEALTHY, happy and well fed babies! 

I SUPPORT YOU! 

When vs. Now

For as far back as I remember, I have always had some accomplishment to look forward to. First it was when I get to high school, then collage. Then they turned into weddings, buying our first house, having a baby or two. And the most recent one was graduating nursing school and having a job.

Well, now I have all of that. I have a great husband, two spunky daughters, and I am working as a nurse at a great hospital. All my future goals have pretty much happened. So you would think I would be happy and content. But, for some reason being happy and content is not the feelings I have most of the time. I find myself looking to the future yet again, as if right now isn't awesome. But it is awesome! I have no complaints.  None.

But you see, my very close friend got a pretty rough diagnosis  and her future goals have turned into simply surviving.  This has made me really evaluate where I am right here, right now. Because right now things are great.   I am learning how to be content with the present, rather than being encompassed by the future. The future might never come, but this moment in time has. We must try to remember that now is good. Now is something to celebrate.  The fact that I even have a now is something to praise my Heavenly Father for.

So right now, I will check up on my sleeping kids and give them one last good night kiss, cuddle up to my husband, and say a prayer of comfort for my friend.

Love you all dear readers,

Alicia

A moment of pain

Today I had to take a moment to be in pain. I didn't get in an accident or Fall ill, I just have a canker sore the size of a dim on th back of my tongue. Silly as it sounds it the worst sore throat I ever remember having. It start friday and has only escalated. Yesterday I pushed through worked my 8 hours, cleaned, made dinner and was mommy to my children. At some point in the night I woke up and the pain wouldn't let me rest. In the morning my sweet husband took care of the kids and let me try to sleep. I do this for him often yet It was hard let him help me, I am the mother, I should be there for my children. 

    As I went through my day full of Advil, hungry but to sore to eat, and in pain I realized it was okAy for me to take care of myself.  My children kept asking why I didn't want to sing or why I needed another drink I would remind them my throat hurt. My son hugged me over and over while telling me i'd feel better soon. 

Its important to teach our kids that we are just like them. Some days we are tired And cross. Somedays we get our feelings hurt. Somedays we are sick and in pain and we need help. Today I needed help, help form my husband and help from my kids. Today I had to take a moment....a lot of moments to take care of myself. 

Power of Positive Thinking

   So since today is the first day of November the month we celebrate Thanksgiving which is a holiday dedicated to being Thankful I had these thoughts come through my head about being thankful which is one of the ways of positive thinking. . The United states has claimed this day where most people get the day off work to celebrate with their families and remember what we are thankful for. That alone I think should show most the importance of being thankful or grateful in our lives.
  
  Through my trials and hardships in my life I try to be thankful and positive. I am part of a group called Intermountain Healing Hearts its a group that helps families with adults or children with Heart defects. This has been a great group to get support and opinions. Every year they have a moms night our or in this case a lunch. Where all the moms of heart children or who have heart defects can meet together mingle and have encouraging words. 

  This last May our speaker and musician was Hilary Weeks. I remember seeing her perform way back ,hen I attended a Especially for youth conference for my church. She has beautiful music but with her beautiful music she had a beautiful message to all us moms that have very hard days with
these children with sever disabilities.   She had heard someone mention that we think about 300 negative thoughts a day. So she wanted to test this out. She got a clicker and everytime she had a negative thought about anything she clicked.... After about seven days of this she noticed a change in her. She was depressed, moody, and overall negative. This counting of negative thoughts were taking over her life. She realized how awful it was to focus on the negative. So she came upon this website. http://www.billionclicks.org/ These were people instead of clicking every time they had a negative thought they were clicking when something positive happens or have positive thoughts. Hilary started doing this and she was amazed at how her life started changing because she was focused on the positive! 

This is Hilary Weeks and I. 

  
  Thinking Positive is something I have tried hard to strive for and it can be in the very simple things and daily tasks we do. Im thankful I got some sleep last night, I'm thankful we have blankets for these chilly nights, I'm thankful for the heat I have because it keeps me warm. Whatever it is we need to try to think positively in all we do. Being negative brings everyone else around you negativity too. Try to surround yourself with positive things. Music, beauty, family, and friends. That will lift you up. I'm not perfect there has been plenty bad days where negativity takes over,but I just try to start fresh the next day. Since its the start of November think of one or two things a day that are positive or that you are grateful and thankful for. Write them down or post them on your Facebook. Get the negativity out of this world one positive click at a time!

The Hidden Homemaker

  When you're growing up you obviously have no idea what the future holds. where your life is going to take you and honestly when you are young you don't think about it at least I didn't. I might of had a basic plan. You dream of the man you are going to marry,and have your list of what you want out of life, kids, graduate from college,house and  career. Then marriage, house,kids happen and you are once again trying to plan how to do it all.

  I always wanted the chance to be a stay at home mom with my kids,but I honestly didn't fully comprehend what that meant. I grew up in Southern California and both my parents worked when I was school age. So I was taught how to make meals, I was taught to do chores, I even was taught to sew, sing, play piano. I helped my mom can our jelly every season. These were just to name a few.  As a kid you hate these tasks some are more enjoyable than the others, but how grateful I am that these skills were taught to me. My mother worked and she was tired when she came home working a full day. She didn't need to teach me these things, but she did.

  I'm kinda tomboyish, I grew up being friends with mostly boys, I loved sports, I was tall so for some reason I felt the girl crowd never really accepted me into "their" culture. Might of been I couldn't find girl shoes that fit me and long pants were hard to find. Or my easy going attitude and hated drama. So as a stay at home mom now  I find myself enjoying to do projects, or decorating my home, keeping things organized, baking cookies or I  get pride when I have cooked a  good dinner and making my families Halloween costumes, its quite surprising to me. I'm surprised that  these skills I learned and sometimes hating as a kid to do are getting put to good use and I enjoy them.

  I'm grateful I can follow a recipe and make dinner. I'm grateful I can add a button or sew up my husbands pants or shirts instead of running out to get another. I'm grateful I can clean and keep my house tidy and organized. These skills appear more and more as I get more confident as a mom and running my household. I truly surprise myself when my "hidden homemaker" comes out. These are just things/skills that come with being a stay at home mom.  I never would of thought I would of need ed those skills that I was taught but I use them daily.

 A couple of costumes I did. I sewed all that stuff on both captain america and Thor. Its not perfect but I was very proud of them!

 Some of the crafts I did for my son't fire truck themed nursery. I hung them on the walls as seen above.

  These skills keep me sane, help our family save money and also gives me an importance and roll in our family. I know my husband is grateful I can do all these things. He saw these skills  in me when we were dating and says all the time that's one of the reasons I married you! I think its just kind of interesting to look back, even just when I first got married to see the growth and how the skills were inside have come out. I guess I was always a hidden homemaker and just didn't realize it!