I Support You

Happy #ISYweek!

Words are a powerful thing. 

When I was a senior in high school, I learned about a man named Dr. Masaru Emoto. In the 1990s he conducted an experiment with words. He took ordinary Petri dishes and put ordinary water in them. He put a piece of tape on the lids and wrote on them. On some he wrote positive and encouraging words. On the others he wrote ugly and degrading words. And then he froze them. 

After they froze, he pulled them out and looked at the ice under a microscope. Oddly enough, all of the ice with degrading and mean words on them froze in ugly and disorganized patterns. All of the ice labeled with kind and encouraging words froze in gorgeous and unique patterns. 

"Always be careful of what you say,

For you might regret it someday.

In every heart cries a silent plea,

'Somebody, please love me.'"

This is just what our words can do to water. Just imagine what our words do to people. (And we are always told that our bodies are mostly water... Let that one sink in...)

This week is I Support You week. 

As I have mentioned before, I am Pro Mom-choice. And this week I am taking it to the next level. I am writing encouraging words to moms that formula feed and leaving them on cans of formula at the store. I support you! 

We don't always have to agree. But we do need to stop judging other moms for the choices they make for their own individual families. This is the week we show support, and not just for moms in our "cliques."

What is there to accomplish in bashing a mom for how she feeds her baby? Seriously? NOTHING good comes of this behavior. It damages. It not only brings her down, but you as well. Your words are a reflection of your character. And when you bring one mom down, it brings us all down. It rips and segragates us more. It turns beautiful motherhood into a pointless competition for bullies and petty arguments. It's time to step it up ladies. It's time to be classy. There is a fine line between having an opinion and being a bully about your opinion. And it is possible to state your opinion without hurting someone else. But it is even better to set your opinion aside, unless it is specifically asked for, and offer support instead. (MYOB: Mind Your Own Baby.) 

I challenge every mother reading this to avoid those petty Mom-Wars. Instead, offer support. 

I have exclusively pumped, I have chosen to formula feed, and I am currently breastfeeding. I have been judged harshly for all three! I have two extremely healthy little boys. You can't even tell who was fed what! 

To the moms that chose to formula feed: I support you! Isn't formula a miracle? I know first hand that formula feeding can have challenges of it's own. Money, finding the right formula for sensitive tummies, getting bottles ready in the dark at three in the morning, and ridicule from breastfeeding moms. It can get hard when people don't approve of your choice to formula feed. When I formula fed I was told I was lazy. YOU ARE NOT LAZY!  You are a good mom! I support you! 

To the mom that tried to breastfeed but couldn't: I support you! It may not have been the experience you planned on, but don't let that stop you from bonding with your baby! YOU DID NOT FAIL! Doing the best you can with the situation you are given is the furthest thing from failing. How you feed your baby has nothing to so with the quality of life and love you give your child. It can get hard when people don't approve of how you feed your child. You don't need to explain yourself or why breastfeeding didn't work out. Don't let anyone look down on you for it. I have been there and I support you! 

To the mom who CAN'T breastfeed: I support you! I have several friends who cannot breastfeed because of a medical condition. (Yes, mental illness such as PPD counts as a medical condition!) You are keeping yourself healthy so that you can be there for your baby, both physically and mentally! A mother's health is just as important as the baby's health. High five for healthy moms! I know some moms who just physically cannot produce milk. You'll hear breastfeeding moms go on and on about how rare it is and that you were just not educated. But you know your situation better than anyone. How dare they make such judgements! You should not have to explain your situation to anyone. It is not their business. I support you! 

To the mom that chose to breastfeed: I support you! Breastfeeding is hard! I wish someone had told me that when I was a new mom! Supply issues, latching issues, pain, clogged ducts, mastitis, oversupply, nursing in public, pressure to give a bottle... The list goes on and on.  It can get hard when people don't approve of how you feed your child. I am there right now. I support you! 

To the mom that exclusively pumps: I support you! I know how grueling it is. I know the stress and pressure of pumping enough for the next feeding. I know being sleep deprived and hooked up to the pump like a cow for more than half your day is exhausting. I know some moms just don't understand why you don't just breastfeed. It stings every time. And it can get hard when people don't approve of how you feed your child. But seriously, you are supermom! I support you! 

To the mom that is reading this: You are a good mom. Don't think for one second that you are not, just because other moms don't agree with your choices. What is best for you may not be best for them, and vice versa.

 Motherhood is a long, hard, beautiful, exciting and rewarding journey. Let's stop judging and criticizing and start supporting!!! Let's be thankful for HEALTHY, happy and well fed babies! 

I SUPPORT YOU!