The Hidden Homemaker

  When you're growing up you obviously have no idea what the future holds. where your life is going to take you and honestly when you are young you don't think about it at least I didn't. I might of had a basic plan. You dream of the man you are going to marry,and have your list of what you want out of life, kids, graduate from college,house and  career. Then marriage, house,kids happen and you are once again trying to plan how to do it all.

  I always wanted the chance to be a stay at home mom with my kids,but I honestly didn't fully comprehend what that meant. I grew up in Southern California and both my parents worked when I was school age. So I was taught how to make meals, I was taught to do chores, I even was taught to sew, sing, play piano. I helped my mom can our jelly every season. These were just to name a few.  As a kid you hate these tasks some are more enjoyable than the others, but how grateful I am that these skills were taught to me. My mother worked and she was tired when she came home working a full day. She didn't need to teach me these things, but she did.

  I'm kinda tomboyish, I grew up being friends with mostly boys, I loved sports, I was tall so for some reason I felt the girl crowd never really accepted me into "their" culture. Might of been I couldn't find girl shoes that fit me and long pants were hard to find. Or my easy going attitude and hated drama. So as a stay at home mom now  I find myself enjoying to do projects, or decorating my home, keeping things organized, baking cookies or I  get pride when I have cooked a  good dinner and making my families Halloween costumes, its quite surprising to me. I'm surprised that  these skills I learned and sometimes hating as a kid to do are getting put to good use and I enjoy them.

  I'm grateful I can follow a recipe and make dinner. I'm grateful I can add a button or sew up my husbands pants or shirts instead of running out to get another. I'm grateful I can clean and keep my house tidy and organized. These skills appear more and more as I get more confident as a mom and running my household. I truly surprise myself when my "hidden homemaker" comes out. These are just things/skills that come with being a stay at home mom.  I never would of thought I would of need ed those skills that I was taught but I use them daily.

 A couple of costumes I did. I sewed all that stuff on both captain america and Thor. Its not perfect but I was very proud of them!

 Some of the crafts I did for my son't fire truck themed nursery. I hung them on the walls as seen above.

  These skills keep me sane, help our family save money and also gives me an importance and roll in our family. I know my husband is grateful I can do all these things. He saw these skills  in me when we were dating and says all the time that's one of the reasons I married you! I think its just kind of interesting to look back, even just when I first got married to see the growth and how the skills were inside have come out. I guess I was always a hidden homemaker and just didn't realize it!

Great Pumpkin Tradition

I love tradition! (Imagine me saying "tradition" with gusto like on Fiddler on the Roof.) 

My favorite childhood memories are based on fun family traditions that I adored. I want to create warm memories for my children, and for me. I want to remember them when they are little. I want to have a picture for every year we do these traditions. I missed out last year because I was sick with Hyperemesis. (See my "Thank you, Kate Middleton" post!) 

One tradition I have always wanted to do is a Great Pumpkin party. I am a big Charlie Brown fan. I do not like scary, blood and gore, give-you-nightmares kind of Halloween. 

We started out with our dinner. Bowls of our quick Autumn Chili (See my Autumn Chili Recipe post!) 

When it comes to snacks I like EASY! 

Apple slices (no caramel), white donuts (they were supposed to be ghosts but I forgot chocolate chips!) and we made simple witches brooms with mini Reeses Peanut Butter Cups and pretzel sticks.

And then Drew's favorite: spider cookies. 

He was a pro at putting in the pretzel legs. This was his favorite stack to both make and eat! It's just Oreos, stick pretzels snapped in half, and candy eyes (From Walmart in the cake decorating isle!). I meant to use frosting to put the eyes on but I used peanut butter instead, 

Then I turned on It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown, and we started our craft. 

Paper plate ghosts! Super easy! 

I pre-cut the circles out of black paper the night before and made strips of white paper for the bottoms. I wasn't sure how much Drew would be into it since he is still little. He actually enjoyed helping! 

I let him take the lead with it. I helped him glue as many dots on as he wanted. It ended up looking a lot like Charlie Brown's ghost costume! 

I used string and some tape on the back so I could hang it up.

He must have liked it because he carried it around for the next hour! 

Nothing too fancy, but still fun enough that Drew knew it was fun and special. I didn't stay up or slave away over it. Drew went to bed all smiles, and I did too. 

A moment of determination

Meet my elleigh, she is the cutest most determend little thing you will ever meet. She came into this world determend to show everyone she is in charge.

    At 30 weeks my OB discovered I had had been in labor off and on for a while. What I thought were just brackston hicks contractions were really more. At 30 weeks I had no cervix left. 

    I was given a weekend holiday at McKay to insure I was not in active labor and to get bet me and my baby ready for the worst. I was sent home to relax and worry for as long as I could. We made it to 33 weeks and 4 days, then elleigh had had enough. 

    Elleigh was ready to come, my frequent visits to the doctor  told us hings we're holding steady, my cevix even was visable on the ultra sound two days prior to elleighs appearance. My water broke and a few short hours elleigh was here.

( my nicu experience is special and one day I'll take a moment and share more)

   

As elleigh began her little life she had two personalities, happy  and mad with no In between or warnings of uneasiness. I had a nurse tell me one day how she knew my daughter was going to give us a run for our money. She said in her many years of working with babies she hadn't seen a baby be so mad about being hungrey so fast, she gave no cues that she was hungry, no fussing no rooting, just a plain up demand to be fed. As a Nicu baby that was wonderful, she was home within a few weeks. 

   Now two, she is still has those two personalities, When she is happy she is to the moon happy. Her happiness can melt away my stress. Her grouchiness can make you so frustrated that you need a nap when she does. As she has grown, her favorite saying is "NO! I do it!!!"  If you  don't let her do it you wish you had by the glass breaking scream she throws At you. As her mother I sometimes wonder how I still have my hearing.

    Her determination has gotte  her into a few pickles

But it has also helped her on her way. We have needed no early intervention due to being premature.  She is loved by everyone she meets. 

    Today at church a sunbeam teacher told me how cute she thought my elleigh was and how she hoped she was still teaching when it was her turn to join the class. Jokingly I told her she might change her mind once she's there, that she is super cute but very determined. The teachers response froze me in my tracks. She said that was probably why she was saved for this time on earth. To withstand what will come at her in the future. 

   I pray thAt this woman is right, that I can teach my daughter what is right, and she In turn will be determined  to do good. I want her to always be strong enough to say "no, I do it!" To all things virtuous, and lovely.

Holiday Time is upon us!

  I know I skipped my last week and I apologize. Had a busy week and the closer it gets to Thanksgiving and Christmas it will just get busier. Although my Halloween time is busy too! I have probably about 4 Halloween parties the next few weeks. Plus you of course want to hit up the pumpkin patch with the family. Time just goes by very quick.

   Although it's only Halloween season the stores already have Christmas out and the frenzy already starts in my mind. I think shopping for Christmas a little at a time each month is good for budget but I don't know about you but I usually end up giving it early cause I'm so stinking excited!!! So I try to take one holiday at a time! I have been getting irritated how holidays are getting pushed out and over run by others. I'll admit I like Black Friday sales,but you might as well call it black thanksgiving now because everything is on thanksgiving now.  I can see the pros to it but I also see the cons. Holidays to me are for being around family and spending time with each other.

   Retail and marketing ploys want you to think the best present will make "Johnny" happy and your relationship closer. As most of you know that's not how it works. Even though we all know this doesn't work this doesn't stop people from going over board. Or if the kids live with two different sets of parents they want to out do moms gift or dads gift. It's sad, I'll admit I love to see  my boys  excitement with new toys even if it happens to only be twice a year at their birthday then christmas,but I never feel like I go overboard or put my self in debt for it. They are almost 3 and 18 m anyways.They don't even know what's going on. Plus it seems like they enjoy playing with the boxes/ wrapping paper more then the gift itself. :) This is not an attack on any who splurge on Christmas every year I know there are some that save all year to give their kids every thing they want,but realistically I know most don't they just throw it on a credit card. To me the holidays should've more than the materialistic mumbo jumbo.

  Holiday's = traditions and building family memories and good times. When I look back on my child hood I never remember what gift I got year after the next,but the traditions we kept. Going to get the Christmas tree, driving around looking at Christmas lights, seeing Santa, seeing different cultures nativity's, eating Christmas Eve dinner,  acting out the nativity as it's being read from bible, sitting around the thanksgiving table and saying one thing we are grateful for, Christmas breakfast, caroling, giving to needy,  making cookies, listening to music  and decorating for the holidays!the list goes on and on. Oh how I love this season for that reason.

  On a personal note. As most know we were struck with finacial difficulties because of my first born son and his heart problems.Him being born in december and surgeries in january and march we were struck with 2 deductibles a life flight and other monthly doctors and prescription bills.  I was forced to stay home and take care of him because if I didn't he would get very ill and possible die. Then when I found out I was pregnant with my Surprise pregnancy when my first son was only 7 months old I was daunted once again. We are not the type to ask for help we were just living with in our means. My hubby was working as much overtime as he could and luckily we were able to live off of our tax return and pay bills it still was hard. The christmas of 2012,  was going to be very simple we bought shane I think one large toy and I knew grandparents would give him gifts so I wasn't worried because he would be just barely a year old. Although I knew coming up we would have more financial stresses buying another crib, double stroller since our boys would only be 15 m apart. My mother in law called us and said that she paid for us to get family pictures done, I thought this was odd concidering I was 7 months pregnant and wanted to do a family picture once the baby was born but I went with it and about an hour in to us taking great family pictures we got a knock on the door. Ill let the pictures explain the rest. It was all a ploy!:)

 We were chosen by aTHM remodeling company https://www.facebook.com/thmremodeling who one of Nathan's old co workers worked for and they do a sub for santa for a special family every year.
She knew we would never ask for help even though we needed it and they gave us all the things we could need for the upcoming baby and christmas for shane that year. We were truly humbled and blessed by everyone's donataions and sill to this day I feel like we didn't deserve it but I guess thats a normal reaction. I will never forget and will always remember this and give to others also in the future.
  Let's take a deep breathe this holiday season and spend it with our family and remember what the seasons are about and why they are celebrated!

A Planned Induction

I got married very young. Two days after my 18th birthday, to be exact. Three months after I graduated high school. When I was starting my little family, the majority of my high school friends were just starting college or preparing for missions.

 Now I've had two children, and  everyone is coming home from missions, getting married, just having their first child, or announcing pregnancies. I swear it's in the air and I feel way ahead of the game.

In the last week I've been thinking a lot about my own birth experiences. I am obsessed with birth stories. Everything from C-sections to home births. I find them empowering and full of the very stuff of motherhood. I've watched every episode of Call the Midwife on Netflix at least twice. I read the Birth Without Fear blog posts every chance I get. And I've noticed that a lot of moms seem to categorize birth in a "good, better, best" order. 

The Friday before I was induced with my first son, Andrew, a dear friend offered to take my husband and I out to dinner to celebrate our last weekend as just us. Near the end of the meal, a waitress at the restaurant overheard that I was being induced the following Tuesday. She looked at me like I told her I ate nails for breakfast. 

"Why would you...?" She caught herself and began again, shaking her head.

"Why not go into labor on your own? Why would you want all of that interferance?" 

I was not prepared to answer this question. I had no idea that my choice to be induced was a granola mommy no-no.

 I waffled out a quick version of how sick I had been and that I was already dilated to a four and it was a choice I made with my doctor. 

What I SHOULD have said was that it was none if her business. How dare a mother look down on another mother for the way she chooses to give birth? 

What I wish I had said was that I made this choice because it felt right for me. I didn't just go with it because my doctor suggested it. He would have let me do it however I wanted. The truth was that going into labor on my own terrified me. I trusted my doctor and I wanted him and my husband to be there. I didn't want an on-call doctor or to have my baby in a random place. What if a complication arose? My mother and my mother-in-law both say that if they had not delivered in a hospital a few of their children would not have made it. That terrified me. 

Yes, I have seen The Business of Being Born. Twice. But I still felt an induction was better for me. Being induced sounded better. I knew the exact(ish) day my baby would come. I could physically and mentally prepare, especially with my bad anxiety.

 I could choose an epidural or not before the pain got too intense. My doctor and husband would be right there in case something happened. But most importantly, my husband and I prayed about it together. I was given a beautiful priesthood blessing and I knew this was the birth I wanted. A birth without fear.

Now, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with natural births. I seriously admire the women that do. It's not for me, but if you can do it I say more power to you! It's what our bodies were made to do. It's fascinating and beautiful and powerful. But so were my births.

 They were calm. They were peaceful. I got to chat with my husband, talk to my baby and read. The spirit in the room was overwhelming and touched my heart. I had an epidural both times and both were great experiences. No pain but I could still feel things. The only time I was in pain was right before it was time to push. During both deliveries as my hips widened for baby to move down I felt an uncomfortable and intense pain in my left hip that I fractured before my senior year of high school. If I could feel that pain through the epidural I don't even want to think about what it would have been like without it. 

My labors were fast. I was dilated to a four the first time and a five the second time before they even started the pitocen. They were 6 and 7 easy hours followed by 20 minutes of pushing. The only times I was ever scared was when I saw my babies but didn't hear a cry. Drew was just very calm. He was breathing fine, but he was so silent. His big blue eyes were too busy taking in his new surroundings. Benjamin wasn't breathing but after a minute he let out a very angry scream. 

(Telling Benjamin all about his big brother, who was about to come in and meet him.) 

I once heard that getting an epidural drugs the baby and makes them sleepy during their first moments of life. This is very false. Both my boys were very awake and alert. And I know a lot of moms complain about back pain from epidurals but I have not had any problems. 

(Andrew less than 20 minutes old.)

Now, I KNOW not every induction goes as well as mine. Some have been very traumatic and scary for some women. I loved my births. They were perfect for me. And I hope all of my deliveries to come will be like my first two. 

And yes, even C-sections are so beautiful. I feel like a lot of moms I talk to feel like they need to explain themselves if they have a C-section like formula feeding moms feel like they need to explain their feeding choice. It's no one's business. I do feel like doctors sometimes push C-sections more than they should. But a lot of moms don't plan on it, but it saves their life or their baby's life. Some even choose it! How you have your baby doesn't make you less of a woman or mother. C-sections can and are just as beautiful and empowering as a natural birth.

 "Sometimes, despite all our preparation, planning, and the righteous desires of our hearts, things can't happen as we hoped. Not many people get the exact birth they imagined, but we usually get the exact birth we (mother and baby) needed. The important thing is to remember that every birth is a miracle and no one should feel like less of a woman because her baby needed to come a certain way." (The Gift of Giving Life, Creating a Sacred Cesarian Section by Sheridan Ripley.)  

I think C-section moms are strong. I know the pain after having one is not something easy to go through. Every mother is different, every situation is different, every birth is different. (MYOB!) Sometimes things don't go as planned. That is just life. But we DO have control over how we handle the situation presented to us... To a degree. (I'll talk more about that when I talk about my postpartum depression.) Birth is not good, better and best. It's what is best for YOU. It's about support and love and bringing a brand new life into this world!

Having a baby is a sacred experience. No matter how it happens. 

Yes, I had two planned inductions. Both at 39 weeks. Both were to end my battle with Hyperemesis Gravidarum. Both were to ease my mind. Both were beautiful, wonderful experiences that I wouldn't trade for anything. They were perfect for me. 

Cloudy with a chance of Some day

I've had this title floating around in my head for months. Long before this blog was even a possibility. I thought it would be more of a title in my journal but I decided to put it here instead.

Cloudy with a chance of someday......what could it possibly mean? I'll tell you what it means to me.
For sometime this is how my life felt to me. I knew I wanted to make some changes in my life, try something new or different but I didn't know where to start and being a mom there were always more important things I needed to take care of and the thoughts got pushed into the back of my mind for someday.

Then one day I decided WHY NOT? That has become my personal mantra I guess you could call it for the year. Why not? Let me explain.

When I found out about a job opportunity with Minky Couture my husband and I were both pretty hesitant but we needed the money. I wasn't the best on the sewing machine but I could hold my own. I'm not one to just come out and tell someone I'm good and I know they could count on me, I absolutely hate job interviews just for that reason. When my friend told me about the job and how to apply I thought "why not?" what did I have to lose? That was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I have met some amazing people, learned some amazing things, support my family while being a stay at home mom. All because of "why not"

I still felt like I had this cloudy feeling with a I'll get around to it someday feeling which in my world is never a good thing.

A few weeks later I was still struggling. I remember thinking I knew there was something I wanted to do and just couldn't put my finger on it. So one day I was talking to a friend. Our girls are the same age but she has been married quite a bit longer than I have. She told me a long time ago she made up a "bucket list" of sorts. Just a list of things she has always wanted to do. She said once she began crossing things off her list she was so happy and felt like she was more than just wife and mom.

I decided "why not" one morning I was laying in bed thinking about how awesome my life was, I have a great job a great husband and daughter, a son on the way and a roof over our heads but for some reason I felt like there was something more I could be doing,wanted to be doing.
I pulled out a notebook and started on my list. Here is a peek :)
Save for a new computer
Start a blog
Start running
Start a business.

I always tend to be that person that just sits back while others do things I have always wanted to do then feel jealous because they did it and I didn't it when in all reality it was my fault because I didn't do anything about it.
Then  I thought why not? I met some great ladies and got this blog going which has been awesome and I have learned some amazing things.
Now for the business.....I've been rolling things around in my head for a while but lets face it in Utah things are hard when you try to do them from home because every one does them. Then I thought so what I'm going to do it any way.
I thought of something I loved something that was fun for me and the thought came to me......Crochet. Crochet saved my life a few years ago (a post for another day) I used to get made fun of for it but I decided I was sick of caring what people think (easier said than done) so I called up a friend and ran an idea by her and one thing led to another and Lotsaloopsies was born!
I have never been so proud of something. This shop is my pride and joy. We make and sell custom made crochet hats. We will soon be adding more than just hats. It has forced me to come out of my shell and learn to design. Here are some examples of my designs.

I love seeing kids faces when they put them on for the first time (especially my own daughter) it has been so fun and such a great stress reliever. It's every thing I have ever hoped for 

Our website is

www.lotsaloopsies.com and fp page is

https://www.facebook.com/lotsaloopsies

I would love for you to come and see what we have been working so hard on :)

So that is my story how my cloudy with a chance of some day began to show a little sunshine.

 I would love to hear yours