MYOB: Pro Mom-Choice

I'm pro Mom-Choice.

This means I support moms in the choices they make that they feel are best for their family. Every child and every family is so different, of course all of us won't make the same choices.

I decided I was pro mom-choice when I wanted to breastfeed my oldest son. Breastfeeding comes so easily to some moms but it definitely wasn't easy for me! He wouldn't latch and according to everything I read and everyone I talked to, if Andrew wasn't getting my milk then I was a bad mom. So I pumped. 

Pumping around the clock, stressing about the next feeding and having a severe lack of sleep for 6 months played a huge role in my postpartum depression. At 6 months I finally stopped pumping and gave him formula. Guess what? He was just as happy and as healthy as ever. My mental health improved. I was more patient, more kind, and wanted to bond with my son. And I wish with all of my heart I could go back and tell myself that it would be ok to supplement. Because when I did, I became a better mom. Maybe then I wouldn't have had suicidal thoughts. Maybe then I would have actually enjoyed the first months of Drew's life. 

But I was scared. I was afraid of what people would think. I didn't want to be labeled as a bad mom. When did motherhood become such a competition? 

Now don't get me wrong. I fully support breastfeeding. In fact, I just celebrated 6 months of happily breastfeeding my second son, and don't plan on stopping any time soon. 

But I also support formula feeding moms. I fully support them. Because they aren't starving their child. They are doing their very best. They are NOT lazy. They don't love their child any less. They are doing what they feel is best for them. I have heard other breastfeeding moms referring to formula as the "f-word" and looking down on moms who don't even try to breastfeed. But why? It's not poison. It is a modern miracle, and has saved many lives. Breast IS best, but it's not going toward college credit or on their resume. You can't walk into a preschool and tell me who was Breastfed and who was formula fed. 

Yes, breastfeeding has SO MANY benefits. But you are not a bad mom if you do not, or cannot breastfeed. 

I know moms that were sexually abused and breastfeeding brought back terrible memories. I know moms like me, who tried, but it just didn't work out. I know moms who are on life saving medication that cannot breastfeed. And I know moms who just don't want to, for one reason or another. And that is ok!

It's not your child. It's not your choice to make. It's not your judgment to make. MYOB. Mind Your Own Baby. 

Being a mom is hard enough. Why make it harder by putting each other down? 

I think this applies to so much more than breastfeeding. Circumcision, organic foods, baby LED weaning, co-sleeping, vaccinations, hospital or home birth, etc. 

There are things like this that I feel so strongly about. I fully support certain things that a lot of moms don't. And that's ok. I don't agree with your choice, but you feel it's best for YOUR family. I'm sure you have your reasons like I have mine. So I support the fact that you are doing your very best as a mother. And you should NOT be ashamed of that! 

As mothers we all have the same goal. We want healthy and happy children. But what kind of example are we setting when we put each other down for making the best choice for us individually? Why can't we just say, "It's not for me, but if it works for you then go for it! High fives all around! And if you run into a struggle, I'll be here to listen to you vent without judgement!" Only in a perfect world, right?

So instead I'm trying to avoid judging and start supporting. Just because one mom doesn't vaccinate doesn't mean I still can't take my boys to be vaccinated! 

MYOB. Mind Your Own Baby.