I often hear moms with HG seriously concerned about their children while they are suffering with HG. When you have HG it is really hard to do everything you would normally do. I remember crying because I was too sick to get Andrew ready for his first Halloween. I was pretty mad about it. Near the end of that pregnancy I was vomiting out of control again, and I remember hunching over the toilet and violently puking. Drew toddled in and bent over the toilet too. He started making a scratchy throat noise. He looked up at me and gave me a dimpled smile and a hug and my heart broke. What on earth was I teaching my kid??
The only thing that brought me comfort was my own memories of my mom having HG.
My earliest memories are of my daddy teaching me how to call his work and then call 911 just in case my mom passed out while he was at work. I was three years old and my mom was pregnant with my sister, Samantha.
I remember mom being hospitalized for severe dehydration. Daddy would take us to the hospital gift shop and we would pick out a Beanie Baby. We had quite a collection after a while. I wish I had a picture of it to show.
I remember people coming over to clean our house. I came home from school once and one of my mom's best friends was over and she put me to work with her. I was not happy about it because I wanted to watch my TV shows.
I remember hearing my mom throw up during the night. I remember her crying. But I was so young I didn't really fully comprehend just how serious it was. By the time she had her third baby I just thought it was normal.
I remember the first time I saw my best friend's mom at eight months pregnant. She was eating a burger. She looked so healthy and I asked my friend where her IV was. I asked my mom why she got so sick and my friend's mom didn't. Mom said that her body had to grow a baby a different way. That her body didn't handle babies well, and that they made her sick.
My mom got worse with each pregnancy. If you talk to her now she will tell you how she wanted to stop with her third child. She had my sister and brother so close (my brother was a surprise baby) and she wanted to be done. But she went on to have two more. By the time she had her fifth she had a PICC line.
I remember the pregnancy with my youngest sibling the most. I was ten years old. I remember she had a wonderful home healthcare nurse named Queeny. Queeny would come over and let me "help." I got to help start the IV, and I got to push her saline flush. I felt so grown up. I remember mom just slept down stairs in our big green chair while she got her IVs. She looked so skinny. I remember my grandma and aunts coming over to help mom shower. I remember laughing hysterically when she called one of us by the dog's name. Now that I'm older I realize she was so dehydrated she probably wasn't thinking clearly and didn't mean to. I remember my brother was born early because mom when into preterm labor due to dehydration. (A lot of this happened to me with my second baby, which makes me so nervous to have anymore.)
Overall, I don't remember all of the bad moments. It didn't impact our relationship. I never questioned if my mom loved us or not. I understood she was sick. And now that I have gone through it myself I feel bad that I didn't help her more. But I was a kid. I did kid things and lived in my little happy world. I had a fairly normal childhood.
I don't think Drew will remember much of my pregnancy with Ben. But if he does, I hope he remembers how much he loved squishing my vitamins into my TPN bag instead of pretending to throw up with me.
There is a book I found on Amazon called "Mama has Hyperemesis Gravidarum (But Only for a While)." We bought it for my boys just in case we decide to have a third baby. (NO that is NOT a hint or an announcement!)
I tried reading it to Drew the day I got it but I couldn't make it through without crying. It brought back so many emotions and memories for me, both as an HG child and as an HG mom. I love how it always mentions that this condition is only temporary. The only thing I don't like about it is that the Mom gets better after a while before she has the baby and continues on with a normal pregnancy. Some moms get lucky and get that kind of HG pregnancy (that is how I was when pregnant with Drew) and then some moms don't get better until after the baby is born (like my pregnancy with Benjamin). But it is still a very good book. You can purchase it here. I've heard wonderful reviews about it from other HG moms.
Take a deep breath. You are doing your best. And like the book says, "It's only for a little while." (Only nine months is a LONG little while when you feel like death!)!But it does end. It does get better, and it will only be a tiny moment in your child's mind compared to all the YEARS of love and memories with you. I could barely take care of Andrew. He wanted my mom and sister more than me, but now he is a total mommy's boy. This too will pass. YOU ARE A GOOD MOM.
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