It's ok to feel this way

So I have been thinking a lot about what to write this week. It's been one of those crazy weeks that you just pray will slow down so you can catch up for just a minute. I took 2 hours to my self and watched this movie.

Not going to lie it felt like I was watching my life in a movie. If you haven't seen it you need to so I'll try not to give to much away. It is about a mom of 3 kids who feel like what she does is never good enough, she can't seem to keep up. When Mothers Day rolls around she doesn't want to be celebrated because she doesn't feel good enough....ever.
It was like watching my self on T.V even the part of wanting to be a mommy blogger.
There is a scene in the show where she looks at her daughter and her daughter wants to be an artist (which results in paintings all over the walls) and she tells her husband. When I was growing up this is what I wanted to be. I wanted the husband, the house, the children. All I've ever wanted is to be a mom. I am living my dream......so why am I so unhappy??

STOP RIGHT THERE, That is exactly the way I have been feeling for so long! I feel like this movie gave me permission to say that and it made me feel like I am not alone.

Don't ask me why I am letting a movie get to me so much because I never have before but I'm telling you it changed my perspective on a lot of things.
I know I am not a lone in this. Some people are so afraid to talk about it. I know I feel almost guilty saying that I have felt this way more than once. But when it all comes out in the wash you know what you're doing as a mother is right because it's right for you no matter what any one says.
I might yell and have a hard time and cry...... a lot...... but that's ok. There is so much pressure on us as mothers that it's hard not to feel over whelmed or good enough 95% of the time. But that 5% when your child is sick and the only person they know will make them feel better is you or when they want you to drop everything and read them a story. That is the 5% that makes it all worth it. All the heart ache all the stress and the tears is suddenly replaced by this unconditional love you have for your child and they have for you.

You all know what I mean when I say there is nothing like it in the world. So my challenge for you is no matter what the stress or how crazy things are when that little one asks you for a story or to play for a minute drop every thing and just do it even if it is just for a minute at lease once just try it, just be with them. It took me a long time to get to that point and no I can't always drop everything but I sure do try harder to spend more time with her and I realize that I'm not going to have that time much longer and I need to appreciate it while I do.
At the end of the movie she goes to say something like.... She who rocks the cradle rules the world. I have never heard that before but I do believe it is true and that mothers are more important that we will ever realize.