Moments of grief

I have had very few time in my life where I can say I have experienced true grief. Where my heart truly aches for someone. In fact I can name them on one hand. I have been exposed to death, great grandparents who have passed away, pets, and people I've known. Each of those deaths has been sad, heart felt, depressing. Only these handful are life altering. 

    My grandma Edith, this little old lady who was stubborn, determined and sometimes mean, passed away when I was 19. Her death was expected, I said good bye and told her I loved her. She died as peacefully in her bed as she could have. Her death was sad to me but the grief I expiranced through my father was life changing. The day she passed away part of my father died too. The sadness I felt for my father still hurts my heart 10 years later. It made me realize how much you need your parents even after you've grown up. It made me realize how much I need my family, just knowing they're there in the background enriches my life.

   Another day my heart broke was when a friend of mine, her mother passed away unexpectedly. My dear friend was maybe 21. There are some many things she still needed her mother for. Since her death my friend has struggled in a failing mairage, has gotten a devorce, remarried,  become a step mother to three boys, and is now expecting her first baby. My friend needs her mother. Only Father in Heaven understands why this woman left this earth. When I see my friend struggle for support and guidance my heart breaks for her. I want to hug her and hold her hand. I want to give her the comfort I know only her mother could give.

   The next is in reference to three  families that I know. I do not know them well, I am but an outsider to their pain. These dear families have lost a family member to the grasps of depression. Sucicude to these individuals seemed like the only option to end their pain. I have witnessed how a family can change in a heart beat. I have seen how grief can crush your body and spirit until you have to build yourself back from nothing.

   Today my heart hurts for those families who don't understand why their children, their brother or sister, their father or mother  took their life. There are so many questions unanswered, so many things left unsaid. I grieve tonight for the families. I grieve tonight for the loved ones who felt only their Heavenly Father could heal their pain. I pray that their families will be strong enough to continue on with their lives. I pray that I will remember the families grief the next time depression sets in and I feel I can no longer carry the burdens on my shoulders. 

    Grief is overwhelming, I'm unsure how to process it let alone console another. My only comfort is knowing there is life after death. I believe our Father in Heaven is there to love us, not damn us, if we are unable to bear our trials here on earth. I believe that families can be together forever. 

   The talk given by President  Monson in the LDS general conference November 2011 "Now is the Time" is a great comfort me in times of grief. It reminds me of who I need to be. It reminds me that my life is important even when I seem unnoticed.  Death and Grief is a hard and unavoidable part of life. I am starting to realize it's importance. It teachs us to live  a life worth sharing,  to be kind, loving, and selfless.